Kei Joe's Reading Adventure

Hearts are pounding furiously. As the needle in the clock rotate round and round, it signifies nothing but a time closer to examination period. A hellish period for students.

I suddenly have this awaken urge. An urge from me to start reading those books before the Devils Of Examination starts their onslaught. A protection precaution perhaps.


My eyes suddenly stares at the mountain-like books piles in the dark corner of my room. My hearts began to beat furiously. The sweat from my forehead are flooding my eyes.

Scary as it seems, i began walking slowly towards the mountain-piled books. My steps are becoming heavier each time. Without realizing, the book piles are right in my face.

This is it. The moment of truth. The moment i shall increase my knowledge by READING.

I gather all my strength. I pulled a book as if the book were stucked onto a rock. I pulled and pulled. With the deep gasp of air, i summon all my might and pulled the book out!!

Yes! At last i manage to pull a book out! The feelings is great! Its just like i'm a knight manage to pull out a sword stucked in a stone.

Alright, for the moment that i always been waiting.

I FLIPPED OPEN THE BOOK!!



WTF is this?! forget it.










My new pillow!

KUKU anyone?

Guys must definately visit this saloon. You guys always pass by this shop and not realizing this saloon ark?


Its time to go and pamper yourself guys.

Give your KUKU a polish and good rest!

Streamyx Needs New Mascot

I still remember that faithful day.

The day i first able to online using Streamyx which is a popular broadband connection in Malaysia 5 years ago. Frankly speaking, the broadband experience provided by the mother company of Streamyx which is Telekom Malaysia Berhad is unimaginably fast compared to dial up connection i used to get.

However i just cant stop wondering why the pioneer of the first Malaysian broadband service uses a hyppo as mascot. Sumore blue in colour. How weird is that?

The guy appears to dont mind a fat hyppo biting his brain off.

Of all the millions of species of animals they can choose, why they die-die also must choose the weird blue hyppo? Let me try investigate in-depth about this.


Well, they choose hyppo certainly not because they are cute, thats for sure. Lets now turn in to the help of Wikipedia.

According to wikipedia, Hyppo is a type of aggressive overweight mammal which cant swim and likes to eat humans! Ok, i'm just joking about the human eating, but they really hostile towards humans and will attack if one get too close.


Aggressive, fat, lazy, dirty and not human friendly. You cant ask more for a worst mascot.

Wait. Maybe Telekom Malaysia Berhad is trying to tell us something using their mascot.

A quick search on the internet review that most part of the world are using broadband with connection speed of 100mb/s. And streamyx with their fastest service, which is only 4mb. I'm not a maths pro geek but something tells me that 100mb is way faster than 4mb?

Alright! i get it now. Let me summarize my investigation for all of you to have a better look.
________________

Streamyx = Hyppo

Hyppo = Fat

Fat = Slow
________________

Seriously, they need to upgrade their system. Otherwise they will likely to lose their business to other rising competitor. Until then only they are able to shake off their current overweight mascot and turn to a new one. Perhaps Blue Cheetah?

Of Corruption and Bribery

Humans are smart creature. They know how to manipulate their resources for its own welfare. A very good definition of corruption and bribery.

These resources is mainly money. You got the money, you got the power. The power to change everything. Even Michael Jackson changed to white because he got the money to do so.


Even if you did something wrong, Mr. Money can come and assist you.

Because of the willingness to give bribery, some people exploited the chance to do so. Many of offenders are corporate figures such as CEO.

In Malaysia, things are totally different. Corperate figures are considered "clean" compared to our Mister-Saya-Anti-Rasuah-Cop (Anti corruption cops).


I'm not saying that all Malaysian Police in corruption scandal. I'm not stereotyping them. But all i can say is that there are policemen who takes bribery as if its their main income of money.

Many of us in some point of our life gave bribery to them to avoid a face-smacking RM300 compound. I even admit i did it myself and then just to realize wat i did is very wrong.

Bribery leads to corruption. Once they start, it will never stop. Just like picking your nose.The first time you pick your own nose and you realize its so enjoyable when you get some "gold". So next time when the urge comes, you will do it over and over again.

Nose picking is so good until you pick others nose.

Corruption and bribery start small and if we do not control it, eventually it will spread widely. Things will get ugly when corruption is out of control. Imagine people can even bribe the police even when they are caught red-handed raping a gal or killing someone. What will it be like with all those criminals walking on the street among us?

Today KeiJoe's Daily will suggest some methods to avoid the spread of bribery as follows :

1)Every police officer will have to wear recording device on them while on duty so they wont dare to ask for bribery.


2)Wear extra sexy when driving (not applicable to male drivers) so you can escape without even getting a ticket.


I'm sure these things will work!

3)Last but not the least is from the driver's attitude of not to give bribery to the police when asked.

So next time your friendly-Mister-Anti-Rasuah-cop stops you for traffic offence.....
______________________________________________

Police :Selamat pagi encik (Good Morning sir)

You : Pagi O_O (Morning)

Police : Awak tau awak sudah buat salah? (You know you did something wrong?)

You : Ya, saya tau. (Yes i know)

Police : So, macam mana awak nak saya buat? Bagi saman RM300 nak tak? (So wat you wan me to do? I give you a speeding summon ?)

You : Jangan la Tuan. Maafkan saya. (Please don't sir. please forgive me)

Police : Ok. Maafkan awak boleh. Tapi awak kena belanja saya minum "kopi" boleh? (I can forgive you but only if you treat me drink "coffee".

You : Boleh Tuan. Nah ini dia! (of course sir. Here you go)

You : Ini kopi sedap.Tuan boleh bancuh sendiri.(This coffee is nice. Sir you can make this on your own)
________________________________________________________

This is a public service annoucement.

Say no to corruption!

Hero's Secret

What does both pictures of the superheroes, Superman and Dragon Ball's Son GoKu have in common?

No. They are not gay.

It is both of them have great hairstyle in most unfavorable condition.

Flying 300km/h, fighting in rain, burning in flame, getting sodomized and raped by their enemy.
They'll still have that unchanged cool hairstyle. Never fails.

I tell you a secret.

I know what's the secret of them keeping their good hairstyle in what ever harsh condition.

For the first time, i shall reveal to you all the SECRET.

The secret of superheroes nice hair style!

Hero Hair Gel. Your Ticket to hero-hood.

For only RM4.30, you can be a HERO too.

Dont say i never share secret with you!