Of Corruption and Bribery

Humans are smart creature. They know how to manipulate their resources for its own welfare. A very good definition of corruption and bribery.

These resources is mainly money. You got the money, you got the power. The power to change everything. Even Michael Jackson changed to white because he got the money to do so.


Even if you did something wrong, Mr. Money can come and assist you.

Because of the willingness to give bribery, some people exploited the chance to do so. Many of offenders are corporate figures such as CEO.

In Malaysia, things are totally different. Corperate figures are considered "clean" compared to our Mister-Saya-Anti-Rasuah-Cop (Anti corruption cops).


I'm not saying that all Malaysian Police in corruption scandal. I'm not stereotyping them. But all i can say is that there are policemen who takes bribery as if its their main income of money.

Many of us in some point of our life gave bribery to them to avoid a face-smacking RM300 compound. I even admit i did it myself and then just to realize wat i did is very wrong.

Bribery leads to corruption. Once they start, it will never stop. Just like picking your nose.The first time you pick your own nose and you realize its so enjoyable when you get some "gold". So next time when the urge comes, you will do it over and over again.

Nose picking is so good until you pick others nose.

Corruption and bribery start small and if we do not control it, eventually it will spread widely. Things will get ugly when corruption is out of control. Imagine people can even bribe the police even when they are caught red-handed raping a gal or killing someone. What will it be like with all those criminals walking on the street among us?

Today KeiJoe's Daily will suggest some methods to avoid the spread of bribery as follows :

1)Every police officer will have to wear recording device on them while on duty so they wont dare to ask for bribery.


2)Wear extra sexy when driving (not applicable to male drivers) so you can escape without even getting a ticket.


I'm sure these things will work!

3)Last but not the least is from the driver's attitude of not to give bribery to the police when asked.

So next time your friendly-Mister-Anti-Rasuah-cop stops you for traffic offence.....
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Police :Selamat pagi encik (Good Morning sir)

You : Pagi O_O (Morning)

Police : Awak tau awak sudah buat salah? (You know you did something wrong?)

You : Ya, saya tau. (Yes i know)

Police : So, macam mana awak nak saya buat? Bagi saman RM300 nak tak? (So wat you wan me to do? I give you a speeding summon ?)

You : Jangan la Tuan. Maafkan saya. (Please don't sir. please forgive me)

Police : Ok. Maafkan awak boleh. Tapi awak kena belanja saya minum "kopi" boleh? (I can forgive you but only if you treat me drink "coffee".

You : Boleh Tuan. Nah ini dia! (of course sir. Here you go)

You : Ini kopi sedap.Tuan boleh bancuh sendiri.(This coffee is nice. Sir you can make this on your own)
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This is a public service annoucement.

Say no to corruption!

Hero's Secret

What does both pictures of the superheroes, Superman and Dragon Ball's Son GoKu have in common?

No. They are not gay.

It is both of them have great hairstyle in most unfavorable condition.

Flying 300km/h, fighting in rain, burning in flame, getting sodomized and raped by their enemy.
They'll still have that unchanged cool hairstyle. Never fails.

I tell you a secret.

I know what's the secret of them keeping their good hairstyle in what ever harsh condition.

For the first time, i shall reveal to you all the SECRET.

The secret of superheroes nice hair style!

Hero Hair Gel. Your Ticket to hero-hood.

For only RM4.30, you can be a HERO too.

Dont say i never share secret with you!

KFC vs MCD

Fast food is a multi billion dollar business around the world.

KFC and MCD. Both names are synonymous with the fast food industry.

Both remained as the top selection of quality fast food.

My friend once asked me before, " Kei Joe, you think McD or Kfc is better ark?".

I just answered " . . . . "

Both so good its hard to decide which one is a better over the other.

Never fear!! KeiJoe's Daily will be an official ring where both Ronald McDonald have a 3 rounds punch out with KFC's Colonel Sanders and decide who is the winner.

I'll be the judge of the day XD


Round 1 : Taste

Personally, i would prefer KFC over MCD in term of taste.

MCD's specialty in burgers can be easily rivaled with our local Malaysia Ramly Burger.

KFC's specialty in fried chicken on another hand, are unrivaled.

If you are carnivorous mammal like me, i'm sure you will like KFC.

Juicy and succulent chicken comes with a choice of 2 flavour, Original or Hot and spicy.


Its so good until you lick our own toe.

Colonel Sander laid an upper cut and scores 1 - 0

Round 2 : Menu Variety

A fast-to-bored eater like me would surely prefer a menu of various choice so i wont get bored with the food easily.

Well lets guess what is in KFC menu, shall we?

OK, breakfast we have chicken. Lunch, erm...chicken. And dinner, chicken?


This turn Ronald Mcdonald turned the tide and emerge victorious in this round.

With menu range for burgers to chickens and pies, it undoubtfully Ronald McDonald deserve the second round.

Maybe next time McDonalds will introduce some abalone burger?

Ronald McDonald counters with a powerful jab to put it to a tie.

Round 3 : Price

Pricing must be equivalent with its quality and quantity. That is how things are suppose to be especially food.

McD have quality food and so does KFC. What seperates this both contender?

Quantity of cause. Lets compare.

A single standard Mcd meal will cost you approximately RM 10 while KFC cost you slightly higher price at RM 11.

Mcd's burger + fries + coke = still got room to spare in tummy.

Kfc's 3 piece chicken + mashed potato/salad + coke = owning.

So, this decides it. Our winner is no other than Colonel Sander from KFC!


Do you agree?

Kei Joe's Daily is one month old

Dear readers,

Many of you asked why do i want to start a blog ?

My reason is simple. To make my stand on the vast geographical variety internet world now.

I want to make my shadow to have outline and my steps noted.

I want to make the sun shine even brighter and the sky glow more blue.

I want to make myself heard and be seen rather than some anonymous spamming throughout the internet world.

It's hard work keeping up with my busy college schedule and in the same time to be able to come up with creative post.

Well, when i was asked what is the most popular post, its none other than the KeiJoe's "Secret Recipe"

No doubt that's the post which most of you like.

Hopefully in the near future i am able to write more of such post to able to satisfy you all.

Its been exactly a month now.

Some people thinks my blog sucks. Some may even think its crap.

Its hard to satisfy everyone's taste for a good blog.

However it is, i still want to appreciate majority readers of Keijoe's Daily who enjoyed reading this blog.

Current statistic shown to me is telling me that i'm having 1400+ views per month and 450+ unique view per month.

Not bad for a start huh?

Hope that you all can keep on support this blog.

Regards,

Kei Joe

Who is the smartest?

From the previous post "May The Fuel Be With Us", here's the different view from dearfynn regarding the fuel price rise.
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''ever wonder if that's merely a political revenge? the rakyat are so overwhelming with the opposition's win and ofcourse the konon Owner's definitely unhappy with this. LOL

we rakyat memang dai sei :( and bising...

They raise price, We make noise... but still we pump petrol.
They raise price again, We make more noise...but still we pump petrol.
They raise price somemore, We make more noise somemore....but still we pump petrol.

They are so used to this formula already and in fact, maybe overwhelming with joy. LOL (who ask We people tumble them down 1st?)

SHADDAP! no lah, i mean let's keep quiet and c how They response. guess this would scare the hell out of Them hence do us some good. duh...

if that couldnt work, guess cutting down toilet rolls usage would do ourself some good? it's so expensive duhhhh!!! ''

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Thanks you Dearfynn again for the comment and now lets get back to my post today.

Since i've not been updating frequently cause of the sucky connection, i shall start warm up my blog a little.

I will warm up with a joke from which i heard before. So here goes.

A plane is about to crash. There's 5 passengers inside the plane but only 4 parachute.

The first passenger said :

"I'm Ronaldo and the best footballer in world. The football world still needs me, so i cannot die"

He grab a parachute and then jumps out of the plane.

The second passenger said :

"I'm Obama. I'm currently running as the president of the United States and i have a good chance in winning it, so i can't die now."

Obama quickly grabs a parachute and jumps to safety.

The third passenger said:

"I'm George Bush, the SMARTEST United States president. I cant die now cause the people still needs me."

He selfishly grabs a parachute and jumps off the plane, leaving 2 person on board,Pope and a little boy, with only 1 parachute left.

The fourth passenger, the Pope said :

"I'm old and i have live a good life being a good priest. You are still young so i will leave the last parachute to you. Go on my young kid. You got years of life waiting for you."

The fifth passenger, the little boy said:

"Don't worry Pope. There is parachute for each of us. The smartest George Bush took my school bag."
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Have a good day and i'll appreciate if you drop me a comment = )

SlowMyx

Screw Streamyx for having such a screwed up connection.

Now i have to pay per hour RM 2 in cc just to online.

CHANGE STREAMYX name to SLOWMYX or SnailMyx

May The Fuel Be With Us

Its 5th June.

Its official.

Its already landed.

Its already invaded the minds of millions of people in this country called Malaysia.

Now i proudly announce that the Malaysia fuel price had surpassed the RM2 boundary and reaching RM2.70 from the previous RM1.92.

A staggering RM0.78 or 40% increase in the fuel price.

No. They not rushing to buy Linkin Park concert ticket at the petrol station. They just want to pump petrol

The second the announcement of this terrible news, Malaysian starts to scream out of their home. Not to bash up Abdullah lah.

But to satisfy their car's thirst for the petrol before the increment were implemented.

Some even queue hours just to save up some tens of bucks.

For me, i did not join the the mad rush for petrol. Instead i concentrate myself to think out a way for me to survive the fuel price increment in long term.

It's simple. Fuel price increased means Every-Other-Damn-Thing price's increases. Vegetable, shirt, shoe, water, electricity price increases! I wonder if condoms price's will increase.

We need to cut down 40% of our expenditure to accommodate the new fuel price.

How?
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Mamak : Boss, nak makan apa Boss? (What you want to order, Sir)

Consumer : Erm, saya nak Roti Canai Kosong 3/4 tambah telur 3/4 (I want "roti canai kosong" 3/4 and add 3/4 egg please)

Mamak : O_O"
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Before Fuel Price Increment

After Fuel Price increment.

So, next time you sit down in some mamak store next time, spend wisely.

Set aside food. I think many obese and over weight people in Malaysia can tighten up their belt and resist a few meals. I think they are able to cope by less eating few plates of roti canai, rite?

Then how about those necessity we need such as clothing?

We need to buy clothing lah. If not we run round town naked like public nudist meh?

They are so poor until cant afford any clothings!

Maybe there's much more simple way to cope with the increased fuel price. How about the concept of the "cut-40%-roti-canai"?

Before Fuel Price Increment

After Fuel Price Increment. Brilliant ?

I dont know will my plan work or not.

But one thing i know its that the fuel price increment is inevitable and we have to cope with it.

Maybe everyone have their own way to cope with the inflation soaring higher than Petronas Twin Tower.

Some might give up the usage of car or motorcycle once and for all and turn into the wonders of bicycle.

Kindly leave me a comment on your ways to cope up with the fuel price increment. The best comment will be featured in next post.

MAY THE FUEL BE WITH US.

PMS

Friend 1 : Wei, how la my gf all the time PMS PMS like tat. I very dulan with that attitude already la. I have to suffer everytime she PMS.

Friend 2 :Yea i understand how you feel geh. My gf also sometimes PMS geh la. Scary O_O'

Kei Joe : PMS is so wide spread these days so they build up a PMS shop wei. Why don't go PMS shop to seek for help?

Friend 1 & Friend 2 : Wat the hell is PMS shop?

PMS Specialist Shop